I have had many fears over my life. Many the Lord has walked me through. But today my greatest fear is finding out that I stopped short of all God had planned for my life and the impact on the world He desired that would bring Him glory. He so yearns for us to see Him more than we do. We tend to think it’s difficult but in this season of life I am realizing it’s not so much difficult as it’s so simple we miss it….we miss Him. I tell Him constantly let me go further today. Help me see you afresh.  Let me learn something new about you today. How sad if we never desire more than what we have in Him today. Your best friend longs for your presence and to have moments with you. Your relationship flourishes with each moment together. Love grows and love learns. We are forever learning about one another here on earth. Yet we forget Christ is our best friend…and it takes much time with Him to learn His ways..just as it does with us here on earth. He calls us friend. Friendship is a two way street. A one sided relationship will always suffer greatly. The longer you walk with Him in intimacy…meaning transparent openness….I am not talking about surface relationships…to which many have with Him and with those around us. But authentic and vibrant relationship…walking WITH God…not just talking about Him….but talking WITH Him. These are the moments that take us deeper and grow us closer to Him. It is good not to be afraid to ask Him for more. We tend to settle in too quickly and become satisfied. I think this must sadden Him so. There are unsearchable things He wants us to know…yet we never ask. Somethings simply require asking.

No, I am not content to watch the story unfold of His glorious plan regardless of the difficulty or coming calamity. I do not want to simply be an onlooker. I want to want to roll up my sleeves and walk in dark places with His light..helping others see Him. Helping them start their journey with Him. Helping them see what I have seen. I want to be on the front lines with Him. I want to see what He sees. I want to be counted faithful. I want to go where He goes. My heart aches at the thought of any other possibility.

We have all heard the saying about hoping when we get to heaven the Lord says “you received all I had for you.” This is always in the forefront of my mind. For today my greatest fear is that something was left “waiting…”

My Greatest Fear

My greatest fear is looking on
Rather than looking in….
Taking but only a PART
Rather than taking ALL in.

Settling only for MUCH
When MOST You had in mind
Applauding the work from afar
Rather than from the front lines.

Oh God let me not stay where I am.
Take me deeper where I’ve not been.
Long does my heart to see deep inside
To the heart which covered my sin.

Cast out my ship!
Cut all the ropes!
Send me out to sea.
For there are your gems and treasures galore.
God forbid shallow waters anymore.

I beg thee O’ God
Your secrets do share
Lovely you are as we sit and I stare.
Let me not alone and get settled too soon
Until I see nothing less than ALL of you..

–Shelly Wilson