I need to talk to the hearts wounded in the area of friendships.

 

Some of you, like me, spent years trying to earn other people’s love. One day they were with you and suddenly they weren’t.

 

You found yourself in a spin cycle that left you with an unusual pain that couldn’t even be named. Some days you still wonder how “this” could have ever happened.

 

Listen, the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He also comes to divide, and he is very good at it if hearts aren’t committed to mending fences.

 

There comes a time when you must let go. For a number of years, I wore myself out trying to “fix” things. Nothing I did really worked but my heart kept getting more and more wounded with each attempt.

 

It takes all parties to have a full reconciliation, a willingness to talk through the honest pains, and it takes a long time to rebuild trust. Not everyone is willing.

 

It also takes intentional work. It never just happens. Forgiveness is necessary but it does not always bring a reconciliation.

 

Sometimes you’ll have to guard your heart in certain areas. Because rejection was the enemy’s tool against me growing up it was one he used in my most sacred places and spaces when he could. To be honest, at times it still looks like he won many battles. Yet, I know Jesus is a just God and He is working it all out for His good.

 

Ultimately, Jesus has to be your sounding board, your “go to,” and your trusted ally. You’ll have to hand it over to Him and take necessary precautions to “Guard your heart.”

 

Whatever works is what the enemy will attempt again and again. I had to learn to let go and so will you.

 

After years of almost embarrassingly staying in places I wasn’t wanted, remaining silent to keep the peace when God was giving me revelation, and acting as if my friendship and life had zero value, the Lord had to pry my hands off of that which my heart didn’t want to let go of.

 

When you are a loyal lover of people and you’re wired with deep emotions, it’s hard to let go. But I had to do it so I could move on with Jesus.

 

I suspect some of you are being lied to by the devil like I was. “Nobody wants you.” “You have nothing of value to bring to the table anymore.” “You’re on your own.”

 

Put those lies under your feet.

 

Your friendship is valuable, and people are waiting to not only be loved by you but also to love you in return. If your arms are holding tight onto those missing from your past, they will not be able to hug the new hearts waiting to meet you.

 

I also want to say this. No one is replaceable. You’ll always feel the sting of loss in this area. It doesn’t mean you can’t move forward or that you’re not healing. It just means that they were significant in your life.

 

It’s ok to feel it all and it’s ok to mourn the loss. It is a real death to your heart. Work through the painful process and I promise you that one day with the help of Christ you’ll be able to let go.