I’m not sure why it’s so hard for you to receive healing from Christ just yet.

 

I’m not sure why, but when you get close to being touched within, you run.

 

I’m not sure why you have deemed yourself unworthy of love that doesn’t use or abuse you.

 

I’m sorry, however, for what we did to you.

 

How we used Christ’s name and told you that you were not valuable. How we placed a burden on you to fix an ungodly marriage where abuse wasn’t a marriage problem but an abuser problem.

 

I’m sorry we implied his sin was your fault, so you worked yourself to a near death to keep him happy. I’m also sorry that it never worked.

 

I’m sorry that you suffered every time he was about to come home making sure the house was clean, his supper made on time, and there was no reason for him to become angry.

 

I’m sorry we told you to keep giving yourself away to someone who felt no remorse for hurting you repeatedly. The intimacy created by Christ was an act of love not an act of force.

 

Please understand that this was never Jesus speaking.

 

I’m sorry we failed to teach you how to set healthy boundaries and call sin into righteousness.

 

I’m sorry you’ve endured to the point of losing yourself and who Christ designed you to be.

 

I’m sorry we kept telling you that staying could save him when the truth was your leaving might have actually been what drew Him to Christ and repentance.

 

I’m sorry that the years of brainwashing and name-calling has given you a level of anxiety and depression your body is now manifesting with an unknown illness.

 

But listen,

I’m also proud of you.

 

That now you’ve decided to heal.

 

Now you’re uncovering who you were meant to be.

 

Now you’re doing the hard work and realizing you have a right to safety.

 

Now you are getting strong enough to demand abuse stops or consequences will be put in place.

 

Now you’re learning to stand firm with Jesus. You’ve become stronger in Him.

 

Now you’re learning what perfect love is all about. That the heavenly bridegroom is the lover of your soul and the safest place you’ll ever be.

 

You’re learning to love being alone with Him so that when another man might be sent to you, your standard will be the same as God’s.

 

A righteous and loving man seeking after the heart of God in such a way that when you look at Him, you’ll see the fruits of the Spirit and smell the fragrance of Christ.

 

You’ll not have to cower in fear of one meant to bear the image of Christ ever again…

 

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. (Ephesians 6:4)