My Own Worst Problem

While walking this morning I was pondering something we spent time on in last night’s meeting. It was so beautiful to see Jesus peeling back layers of the onion for hearts to see more clearly.

I shared with them, “Whatever keeps working is what the devil will keep doing.”

Often we have patterns in our lives that God is exposing. The devil never has the upper hand. Jesus is the High Priest and He reigns, period.

I can be sure that if the enemy makes an attempt to distract me, the Lord is using it to help me make a change. See a thing. Learn something.

He is inviting me into a view of something He wants me to take heed of.

One of the things as a leader I’ve had to face is… myself.

I am often my own worst problem.

I’ve had to reckon with my heart being pulled into chaos again and again all because some need in me is screaming to be met.

The enemy loved it when he could grab that place in me and start sending confusion, distraction, and chaos.

I would use spiritual language to excuse it, “I’m waiting on God.”

I would again call it “spiritual warfare” when often Jesus is just trying to close a door He no longer wants open.

All manner of reasoning’s would come out of my mouth until I faced the music.

I was often found “majoring in the minors.”

Afraid of closed doors I would reinvent a thing which ended up being nothing short of “beating a dead horse.”

I’d say “God said” when it was actually a “Shelly said.”

The evidence of God making turnarounds to make my crooked places straight was opposed not by the enemy but by ME, MYSELF, and I.

Once I heard myself, saw myself, and went before the Lord with humility….He asked for the reins back.

He allowed confusion and chaos to be the forerunners of change. I had to feel the weight of my decisions and decide I didn’t want to live like that anymore.

I wanted to be effective in life and in ministry and stop majoring on the minors. Stop partnering with drama.

I needed to be immoveable in my God-calling.

Alot of my dramatic turnarounds involved very “good things” but they were not “God things.”

Once I began to let go and let God shut doors, close things down, straighten my path and my stinkin’ thinkin, fruitfulness came, peace came, and clarity came.

When the enemy was found out he couldn’t stay. But I had the power to change the narrative all along because, once again, I was my own worst problem. I had to stop blaming the enemy and accusing God and realize….it was just Shelly and the flesh.

Then the Lord was able to walk me through every area that needed to change. My job at that point was simply to obey.

It’s beautiful when God breaks destructive patterns in our lives.

It’s also freeing to watch the devil unable to “do that” anymore.