In my secret place I walk…and walk. Somedays its a short walk and some days I linger with the Lord. Lately…I have lingered much. Asking many “why” questions and praying for answers that do not come. Ever been there? For we all have our own burdens and challenges. My husband says he respects those who are transparent and honest in sharing their struggles rather than the pretense of no troubles. I guess I have understood this for some time as I wondered early in my childhood years how it was no one else had problems but me? How would I ever measure up with all my baggage? Then the Lord taught me with Beth Moore and through her transparency I came to know the Lord intimately. For this transparency I am most grateful for now I understand fully it’s value. Shallow talk and surface issues are detected quickly in most discerning people and even more so in those who are skeptical about a life with a Jesus they have yet to meet. For they search for authenticity of heart. They need to hear how we made it out of a pit, how we are constantly in storms, and that the only difference between them and me is I know the ONE to cling to when the storm rages. Amen?

So in keeping with transparency I will share with you that while God has birthed a tremendous year of ministry it has come with it’s challenges…and many challenges of the heart. Much of which has been unexpected and has been earth shattering at times. Yet in my secret place as I asked “why” certain things had to happen the Lord reminded me of the story of Job after his own questioning of the Lord. The Lord makes it clear in the previous passages who the boss is:) Whew… so needless to say Job backs off a bit you’d say..

Job 42

1 Then Job answered the Lord and said; 2 I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. 3 You asked, “Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?” Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. …”

Anybody but me? There is a peace that comes in remembering who He is. That He is always good. That He will turn all Satan meant for evil and use it for good ..if we let Him. In the meantime, we wait… and He graciously walks with us as we pour out that which needs healing. Whether He answers our “whys” or not… will be the true test of whether we really submit our lives to Him. For He is the author…not us and His ways are not our ways. For only He knows the deepest pain needed to prepare us for a future purpose. The training ground can be intense.. yet in the secret place a gentle breeze can be felt as He walks with us.

The Gentle Breeze..

written by Shelly Wilson

A gentle breeze upon thy skin
Caresses me when there is end.
Surrounds me with a mighty wind
That hovers till I barely grin.

A shuffle heard within the shrubs
I realize from high you’ve come
To walk in low a valley deep
With one in pain and troubled sleep.

You say thy hand waves at the trees
For each one bows as eyes do meet
You point as all the red birds sing
And smile at yellow flowers seen.

You let me talk and pour my pain
Knowing questions still remain
And as I still to hear you say
You whisper..”child, simply wait.”

Father, help us see there is purpose in pain..that it drives us closer to you upon our knees. That is roots us next to you rather than in busyness of life. It keeps us desperate. Desperate for your presence and touch. Desperate to search your Word for truth! Desperate..to keep you near. If rain is what it takes to draw you closer in our hearts..then let it pour…

Love Much,

Shelly