And let the peace of God rule in your hearts… Colossians3:15

For 5 days I have been lying in the bed resting after a little accident. However, it turned into a sweet, yet painful, time with the Lord and the opening of His heart to me.

A while back I became restless over an obligation I had made but I kept ignoring it. It was a good obligation after all and I could not see why I would not continue onward. However, the wrestling became more and more. I kept rationalizing that it was just an emotional reaction instead of trusting the lack of peace. I wasn’t even calling it a lack of peace. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it actually.

Often I also rebuked the enemy for what I felt might be an attack. Funny, how we miss the actual wrestling with the angel of the Lord.

This was my personal moment of wrestling. Jesus won.

I found myself leaning into a door with all my shoulder strength to shut it when I heard a loud pop in my rib area. That was that.

I found myself in bed with not even a computer for working at home and in much pain. Yet, Christ made Himself known. He had a captive audience after all. I spent nights awake in prayer since I could not get comfortable enough to sleep. I kept combing the pages of scripture to find His heart for the situation knowing He orders my every step and when I did have the luxury of sleep, He visited my dreams.

Soon, I realized the Holy Spirit was closing a door to my good obligation and He was quite serious about my obedience. He is a jealous God. I pondered the restlessness over the last month and wondered why I had had such trouble heeding the lack of peace.

I find my heart still fights for what it wants at times even if it is fighting against God, Himself. This is something, I, and you must keep dying to. My loyalty to people and concern for other’s opinions of me must never weigh in on God’s heart for any situation. In this instance I am sad to say, it did.

In all of our human frailty, we make mistakes and yet He is always teaching us so we may see what is still within our own hearts.

Looking back, I lacked peace. It has been the stamp of approval for my decision making for some time, yet, this time I missed it.

Next time- I won’t.

If you are facing a decision and you have restlessness, anxiety, or any unsettling then the peace of God is not ruling or reigning in your heart. Do not dismiss this. It is the Lord sharing His heart with you.

Not every wrestling is because of a negative situation, sometimes it’s just not your assigned lane in the Kingdom. Remember, God chooses our paths when we are walking in the Spirit. He knows what He is after daily in and through us.

Seek His heart when requests come your way. Then, let peace help you make your decision.