Jesus sees that little place in your heart that you’re protecting. He knows why you’re holding it so close, and why you’re unable to let anyone get near it. He sees every time you wince as the memories attached to it return, and that the silent anguish is like a lightning bolt that suddenly and unexpectedly strikes deep within your soul.

For a moment you’re “there” again like it was yesterday, huh?

Trauma can do that.
It’s ok.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.

There’s no timeline that Jesus requires of you to heal by. In fact, His timing can seem slow sometimes. He tends to bind up all kinds of wounds that show themselves when grief comes calling.

One thing I’ve learned is that slow can still be steady. Slow progress is still progress and He is with you the whole way.

He doesn’t get tired of hearing you talk about it. He knows it’s part of your healing. He doesn’t mind that some days you’re a fierce warrior and on other days you’re paralyzed.

He knows there’s been a very real strain on you physically and emotionally and navigating which is which seems like a pin the tail on the donkey game blindfolded.

Jesus is patient. He’s not in a hurry. He knows along the way He is making new memories with you. Memories that will one day be put to good use.

You’ll find yourself sharing intimate moments where He helped you out of one place of despair, then another. You’ll look back on trying days and see where His hand was the only thing keeping you above water.

You’ll share how some nights when you cried yourself to sleep He tenderly came so near you could hear His movement in the room.

Little things about how He loved you deeply will stand out to your broken heart.

How He would orchestrate the perfect song to get you the message you needed. How He changed your Bible translation on a certain day because the exact wording was necessary for you to understand His heart for you. The way that one day you actually rose from sleep with the slightest sense of joy bubbling up once again.

I promise it will come.
Just keep leaning into Jesus.
He is a faithful keeper.
That you can be certain of.