“En Route”

-on or along the way-

You never know what lies ahead very often. Yet you are “en route” to a destination.

I surely never thought my route would have so many twists and turns and quite so many heart wrenching detours. Yet, I have seen the goodness of the Lord at every turn and in every place.

Often I have felt my foot would slip and sometimes quite honestly it has lost complete grip of anything humanly secure. Somehow when I have fallen into various wells and pits the Lord has met me there. I often thought He was doing one thing when in all actuality, He was doing something quite different.

If I resorted to an image of God that only saw the pain of following Him, I would become as a child touching a hot plate. The moment any resemblance of similar pain comes close… I would certainly withdraw. I know this because of a season that sent me into such a place.  (Perhaps you can relate?)

The school of suffering Christ leads you to is in order to train your hands for war. I can’t say my wrestling has been very beautiful … it has been very messy. I never considered a life with Christ would lead to loss, although He does tells us openly often in His Word.

“A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ ” Matthew 10: 37-39

^“And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with… Matthew 20:23

…Enter into the fellowship of His sufferings- Philippians 3:10

“They hated me…therefore they will hate you also…a servant is not greater than his master ..” John 15:18-25

I did not realize how this would look in the natural daily life in our world of normalcy.  While I’ve been en route to all Christ has for me and through me, my route has included training that would prepare me to battle anxiety, depression, loss, fear, rejection, humiliation, and the intensive battle of fighting and healing from PTSD.  My training has not been in a school but a wilderness most often….not in a seminary…. but in a closet. 

Yet, each battle has victory in Jesus… but not always by Him removing my trials …but by Him walking through them with me. There was “seed” He was sowing in each place of the wilderness that led to weariness. The revelation of need that this weak human being has for her Savior became very apparent. The fresh wind of knowledge that apart from Him I really can do nothing is so much more evident to me these days.

I was unable to conquer anxiety or depression apart from Jesus. I can’t undo the damage of PTSD and trauma apart from Jesus. I can’t even breathe apart from Him…the mere strength at times during spiritual warfare can be overwhelming and apart from the power of the Holy Spirit…I would certainly buckle under it.

There have been times my route was lined with flourishing wild flowers where it seemed all pain had fled. Then the very next stop on my journey would drop me low into a deep valley where I would learn of the loveliness of the lilies and why they were His name sake. There is priceless beauty in such places.

I have had to learn how to lift His armor to shield my heart from the poisoned arrows of the enemy, while also learning how to become Christ’s polished arrow sent straight to a heart in need …aimed ever so perfectly by Him.  It is not always easy to be an arrow in His quiver. Yet, I cannot explain the inner delight and joy of allowing Him to use your life to help others. I am in continuous training on the “art of yielding.” But the fruit of His work is so beautiful I desire to become much better at hearing Him.

His ability to use me has been little in times of prosperity…yet, much in my times of weakness and suffering. It took many years, and I’m still learning, why He says…”when you are weak, I am strong.”

Today I feel an inner sorrow for those who have settled for a mere religiosity that is merely man made instead of the captivating life with Jesus… and I long to bear witness to the vast multitudes of His kindness and gentleness. To let them know how His plans for you will not be void of pain …but purpose will rise from that place of pain. I long to pour my heart out to one confused by the gods of this world and deceived by the enemy of the cross that Jesus is your answer…”there is no other by which you can be saved..” Please stop running…and allow Him to catch you…

I desire to blow the whistle to my fellow ministers that we must cease to waste time with personal promotion and trust God in our showing forth. That while social media can help further the message it must not keep our attention from meeting the needs of people personally. That we would bury the methods of the world and enter into His presence for direction and assignments refraining from making ministry what Christ never intended it to be. My route has included roads of loneliness harkening Matthew 7… many on that day will say Lord Lord….yet I will say, I never knew you!” 

No one could prepare me for the persecution that would arise against me and the deepest places of my heart while being en route to my destiny with Jesus. His training would include places of persecution one would perhaps never know how devastating… yet His glory would manifest in a grandeur beyond natural comparison and tend my wounds until it really could be “well with my soul.”

While en route I have laughed and loved deeply, sorrowed and wailed loudly, lost and gained immeasurably, yet here I stand ….still…with My King. 

It’s the beautiful Cinderella story of my life unfolding in His nail scarred hands.   The very process of His engraving my name on His palms and blowing away the dross….leaving only His sweet fragrance behind.

It is the route of my horse drawn carriage as the rider whisks me away to the palace. The shelter of the Almighty where I must dwell. 

Its where I’ve been en route to all along. Into the arms of my Prince Charming. Deeper and deeper. To be anchored in His hope and to learn how to trust in great despair.

This is my Cinderella story…..my “from rags to riches”…. the purpose in all the pain. “That I may be united with him in a death like his, that I may also be resurrected like Him.” (Romans 6:5)

I’ve been en route not just to a place, but to a person … to Christ Himself in His fullness. He’s been pressing me into His heart layer by layer like walking through a deep closet of hanging linen. You must draw each layer back piece by piece to go further into His heart.

So friends know He is also writing your Cinderella story…your simply en route to go further into His heart…He’s already been where you are….all the suffering poured upon Him as He hung on the cross….He knows what each leg of your journey holds….and there are no detours that cause Him to lose sight of you….so keep walking….don’t quit now….

Your Prince Charming is waiting …your palace is being prepared…. 

And those who endure will receive a crown…..(James1:12)

Love Much,

Shelly Wilson

September 23, 2017